🔗 Share this article

Facing denial, especially when it occurs frequently, is far from pleasant. An editor is turning you down, delivering a definite “Nope.” Working in writing, I am familiar with rejection. I started pitching manuscripts 50 years back, upon completing my studies. Over the years, I have had two novels turned down, along with article pitches and many pieces. In the last score of years, focusing on commentary, the denials have only increased. On average, I receive a rejection multiple times weekly—amounting to in excess of 100 annually. Cumulatively, rejections throughout my life run into thousands. By now, I might as well have a master’s in handling no’s.

However, is this a complaining tirade? Not at all. As, at last, at seven decades plus three, I have accepted rejection.

In What Way Have I Managed This?

A bit of background: At this point, almost everyone and others has rejected me. I’ve never counted my win-lose ratio—that would be very discouraging.

As an illustration: recently, a publication rejected 20 pieces one after another before saying yes to one. In 2016, at least 50 editors vetoed my book idea before a single one approved it. Later on, 25 representatives passed on a nonfiction book proposal. One editor even asked that I submit potential guest essays less often.

The Seven Stages of Rejection

In my 20s, each denial hurt. I took them personally. I believed my creation was being turned down, but myself.

As soon as a submission was turned down, I would start the process of setback:

• Initially, disbelief. What went wrong? Why would these people be ignore my ability?
• Second, denial. Certainly they rejected the wrong person? This must be an mistake.
• Third, dismissal. What can editors know? Who made you to hand down rulings on my work? They’re foolish and your publication is poor. I deny your no.
• Fourth, irritation at those who rejected me, followed by self-blame. Why would I do this to myself? Am I a masochist?
• Subsequently, pleading (preferably mixed with optimism). How can I convince you to see me as a once-in-a-generation talent?
• Then, despair. I’m no good. Additionally, I’ll never be any good.

This continued for decades.

Great Precedents

Naturally, I was in excellent company. Accounts of authors whose books was originally declined are numerous. Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick. The creator of Frankenstein. James Joyce’s Dubliners. The novelist of Lolita. The author of Catch-22. Virtually all famous writer was initially spurned. Since they did overcome rejection, then perhaps I could, too. The basketball legend was dropped from his high school basketball team. Most US presidents over the past six decades had previously lost campaigns. Sylvester Stallone says that his Rocky screenplay and desire to star were rejected 1,500 times. For him, denial as an alarm to motivate me and persevere, rather than retreat,” he remarked.

The Seventh Stage

Later, upon arriving at my senior age, I achieved the seventh stage of setback. Understanding. Now, I better understand the various causes why an editor says no. For starters, an reviewer may have recently run a like work, or have something in the pipeline, or simply be contemplating that idea for someone else.

Alternatively, more discouragingly, my pitch is of limited interest. Or the reader feels I am not qualified or reputation to succeed. Or isn’t in the business for the work I am offering. Maybe was busy and reviewed my work too quickly to see its value.

Go ahead call it an realization. Everything can be declined, and for numerous reasons, and there is virtually nothing you can do about it. Certain explanations for rejection are permanently out of your hands.

Within Control

Additional reasons are under your control. Admittedly, my ideas and work may from time to time be poorly thought out. They may not resonate and appeal, or the idea I am trying to express is poorly presented. Or I’m being too similar. Maybe a part about my writing style, particularly commas, was annoying.

The key is that, in spite of all my years of exertion and rejection, I have achieved widely published. I’ve published several titles—the initial one when I was in my fifties, another, a memoir, at 65—and over numerous essays. These works have been published in magazines major and minor, in local, national and global sources. An early piece was published decades ago—and I have now written to various outlets for half a century.

However, no blockbusters, no author events in bookshops, no features on talk shows, no speeches, no book awards, no big awards, no Nobel, and no Presidential Medal. But I can more easily handle no at my age, because my, humble achievements have eased the blows of my many rejections. I can now be philosophical about it all today.

Valuable Setbacks

Rejection can be instructive, but provided that you heed what it’s indicating. If not, you will almost certainly just keep interpreting no’s incorrectly. So what teachings have I gained?

{Here’s my advice|My recommendations|What